Hey everybody! So two weeks have gone by and a lot has happened.
First of all, thank you to everyone who checked in with me and showed me unconditional love and support, I can’t even begin to express the comfort it brought.
I felt the need to share with you all what happened and why I went to a dark place… for almost two weeks my health was declining rapidly. I was extremely nauseous and throwing up and my suicidal thoughts began to turn into temptations. I was at a loss. Then my boobs started to hurt and I realized my period was a week late. I began taking pregnancy tests and sure enough it was positive.
If you know my history, you know that during my pregnancy with Maggie I had Hyperemisis Gravidarum which basically means you’re so sick during pregnancy that you’re fighting for your life. That is why I started getting so sick so fast.
I didn’t recognize my symptoms as pregnancy because I have an IUD in and we weren’t trying. Leave it to my body to beat the odds right? I have been to the doctors and gotten checked out and they were surprised but there is that 1% chance. (They told me I should try my luck in Vegas).
That “luck” did not last long however and I had a miscarriage. I had so many mixed feelings because like I said we weren’t trying, but in an ideal world where my body was healthy, we would have loved to add to our family.
This time away from social media gave me the time I needed with my family and I learned so much. I had deeper conversations, connected more with the people around me, and generally felt my relationships were more successful. Not being on social media helped me draw closer to my loved ones in my time of need and I’m grateful for that. I’m blessed to have people around me that love me, both on social media and in my own home.
There is so much love that I have received and so much love I have to give.
If ever you are struggling, let your loved ones know. Let me know. I love all of you and will forever be grateful to you.
Love,
Claire